When you are separating, telling the children is the most painful part of it all. But if you use help from kidsafterseparation.com, you might just get the right help you are looking for. At kidsafterseparationcom, you will be educated on how you can handle the situation in a professional manner. Some of the statements that you will be taught to pass the message to the kids include:
- While our feelings for each other have changed, we still have a special feeling for you that will never die. Feelings can change between adults, but never between parents and their children.
- We will always be there for you, care and protect you
- Your relationship with your grandparents, brothers and sisters will always be there and nothing will change due to the separation.
- You are not the cause of our separation
- We did not just wake up one day and decided to divorce. We have really tried to make it work, but it isn’t working that is why we have decided to go different ways.
- We will always honor your wishes, but we are the ones who will decide where you will live. That is not the decision for you.
- We are not going to ask you to take sides
At no given time should you ask the child to take sides. At kidsafterseparation.com you are advised not to give the child that message that you are the good one and the other parent is the one on the wrong even if you feel that way. You don’t have to give children the details of what really happened to make you separate.
The confusion and conflict that comes with the separation is what affects the children more than the separation itself. You are supposed to alert the children only after you have made clear plans about what will happen to them. This will lessen the anxiety that is associated with the process of separation.
How To Help Kids Deal With Separation
According to kidsafterseparation.com,,there are several ways you as a parent can help your child to deal with separation positively. It may be difficult to tell the kids what really happened by saying the truth might help ease the hurt, anger and anguish the child is going through. Address the changes by preempting the child’s questions about the changes in their life by acknowledging that some things will be different from what they used to be.
How Much Information To Give Out
At the beginning of the separation or divorce, you will need to pick the information to give to your children carefully. You should think carefully about certain information and how it will affect them. Make sure that you are age aware. This means, if the children are younger, you only need to give them less detail with an explanation which is simple to understand; but for older children, you will need to divulge more information. The logistic information has to be shared with the children too. Tell them about changes in lifestyle, school change, but don’t overwhelm them with information.
However much or little the information you are sharing with the children, just make sure that it is real and truthful. Trying to color the information red or blue won’t help at all, tell it as it is and help your children to cope by allowing them to emotionally express themselves and be there to listen to their feelings without acting in a defensive way.
At kidsafterseparation.com, you will get information to help you in this difficult transition and you will find all the useful tips and facts on how to parent after divorce or separation, and how to take care of the kids after it happens.